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Have you seen this guy? He was stolen and wants to come home!

August 1 — December 1

I don’t know a better way to get to the perpetrator, thief, but you (thief) are in great danger so I write to the local paper in hopes I can help you. A friend was helping me with the leaves today and discovered my little cement gargoyle, Diablo was missing from our front yard.“Oh!” I reacted. I felt a pang of disbelief, a little sadness, but also gratefulness. This is the story: When we lived in St Paul, I bought him at a creepy, fringe antique store over 20 years ago. I was attracted to him but felt a real pull and pressure sale once the retailer noticed me looking at him. I named him Diablo. Kind of fun but in a very short stretch of time we had some of the worst luck from every direction. I mean, the car, the house, the job, the beloved pet, all those things we enjoyed, gone. I will spare you the details but it has been a long journey getting back some simple comfort. It was suggested he was the reason and I tried to take him back but it seems the “owner” I bought him from skipped town and was well known for stealing and my little Diablo was stolen property. I offered to give it back and the negotiator refused due to “so much bookwork. Just enjoy him”. The word “curse” was thrown around a few times and I was quite confident if I offered them money, they would not take him back. I confided with a couple who knew a little about this sort of thing and they both said I should not try to get rid of him. Yes, he is cursed but as long as I keep him I am a sort of host and he will not kill a host. Lovely. So over the years, we have learned to do things the way he wants and deal with it. He likes Owatonna and he loved the spot I had him in my front yard. But now, alas, someone has taken him. I am ambivalent. I will miss the little guy, but whoever it was who felt the undeniable urge to take him, and he is really irresistible, is in for a wild ride. I want to thank you! You can try to bring him back and your luck won’t decline but hurry, the deed is done. You have pissed him off. I am sorry for your demise but you can learn to live with it or at least bring the bad luck to a slow ebb. Losing everything can be very empowering! I can give you a little advice that was given to me that kept us from completely losing everything; No drinking or drugs, substances. He plays nasty tricks on those who are compromised. Stand in front of him and laugh each night before bed. Keep him away from pets and children. He likes the moss, don’t wash him! Learn how to sing. He likes old Doris Day songs best!